finding a fire

written during a time of dating with intention, but remaining more connected with myself than ever before.

ego seeks aesthetic pleasure, my soul is looking for true love.

connection to the earth is not enough,

i wish to be hypnotized 

and held down tightly.

take that as you will.

it’s beginning to feel criminal to want,

but i’m sobbing until my throat is burning, throbbing,

hurts

for all the things i wish i had

and am not quite enough for yet.

but if my wish is your command

then kindly,

reach out the hand

and tenderly pass through the time which mends us,

blending together fingertips and hands.

that bracelet on your wrist 

speaks “do not forget me.”

i pulled mine off too fast,

breaking,

the beads flew into my tea cup.

you mocked me,

though you cleaned up the mess.

and for a future with you,

it was, i made amends.

letting go of everything which led me to a life astray.